I sat here reflecting on my open letter to God. Thinking about everything that is going on. Recalling my childhood and the apparent difference in times.
We’ve been on lockdown for some time now nothing but time to think. I find myself so great full for even the smallest things. Taking out the trash, retrieving the mail, making phone calls letting people know how much I love them and what they mean to me.
I love and appreciate the weather each day. The sound of traffic which has become somewhat rare. Airplanes at night yet not that many are flying overhead.
There has been a lot to reflect on, and to learn throughout this process. My relationship with God is even deeper because apart from God I can do nothing I am nothing.
I’ve had deep conversation with myself which in terms I’ve repented for my end of things. knowing that change begins with me.
As I sat here I quickly began to daydream.
I saw myself sitting outside observing all of my surroundings. There was nothing but pain, grief, and death from our current happenings.
I sat down for a moment and it was there that I broke down. It’s kind of like in this day dream I was witnessing the front lines with my own eyes.
My stomach filled with pain, my eyes were filled with tears. This was more than a cry it was whaling. I was crying with pain, grief, and anger, frustration, agony, and unbelief that this was even taking place.
My vision ended with me sitting on the side of the curb wearing a white modest dress. My stomach was clinched into my hands filled with so much pain from crying and hurting emotionally. I saw myself looking around crying uncontrollably and loud. No matter what I just could not stop. With each glance and look my heart was deeply saddened. The more I looked the deeper the pain.
No where I turned was spared from this site. In fact tragedy was all my soul could see.