Days went by and although they were only days somehow it felt like months. An endless wave of unwanted people continued to pour in like a flood. Doctors telling me how my life was going to be from that point on, nurses telling me that I had to pace the hallways, and a dietitian attempting to show me how to eat by using percentages per meal.
There were times when I just sat up in bed thinking. Thinking about what I can’t recall, yet I became very familiar with the scene outside of the window. In my mind I pictured myself walking through mountains of leaves which had fallen from tree branches. I pictured myself out with family and friends having fun enjoying life. I pictured myself at home embracing my son while listening to his cute attempts of laughter. The reality was that I was in neither of those places. I was in a hospital bed surrounded by people I did not even know, and one particular nurse whom I did not trust.
At some point, the doctor came in and told me the news that I had been waiting to hear the entire time I was there. “I think you’re clear to go home, someone will be in shortly to instruct you on giving yourself insulin. Congratulations and enjoy your new life.”
That was it and why am I being congratulated on my new life. In no way did I think that this was fair, nor did I think of it as a new life. In short, I got sick and now I’m being told to take medication for the rest of my life and oh by the way congratulations.
While I was getting my things prepared for home the nurse came in. I asked what was I doing and I told him that the doctor had come in, and told me that I was clear to go home. “No one leaves this hospital without my permission.” The very clear and frightful words that came out of his mouth. I tried not to get upset or rattled about it because deep inside I knew that I was going home and that what he said didn’t matter at this point.
A few hours later after receiving coaching, tips, and discharge papers my brother arrived to take me home. Once I got there I sat on the couch, and that is when I heard it. God whispered to me in a gentle voice saying.
“I GAVE YOU GRACE”