Season of Darkness

Some time ago I went through a season of pure darkness and hardships. It was a battle with each word I uttered and each prayer  I prayed. I believe God had his hand on my life the entire time. It was kind of like the story of Job where it appeared as though I had lost everything friends, family, income, fiancé, and nearly my son but God. There were days and nights when I cried out to God seeking shelter from the storm, comfort, peace, tranquility and someone to hold my hand. Then there were times when I found myself hurting, embarrassed, humiliated, sick to my stomach, I could not eat, I felt withdrawn, and as though I had completely lost my self worth and dignity. I recalled watching a movie that inspired me to find space of my own where I could be alone with God, and it was in that space that I cried even more I mean my tears were ugly. Not only did I cry but I shouted, prayed, worshiped, slept and cried some more. This might sound odd yet had it not been for that season of darkness I might not have heard Gods voice of reason and direction for my life. So even though I was scarred, bruised, battered, torn, and broken I thank God that something good is coming out of it.